numbers

I mentioned in a previous post how I remembered all the numbers. First heartbeat, first beta draw, all the dates. The family making process is largely a numbers game for most of us infertiles. What can we afford, how many times, what are the odds. It’s so far beyond saving for baby. How do we afford baby after he/she is here is nearly an afterthought. Getting to the point where you’ve got a baby takes the front seat in this process.

We were lucky enough to have $15,000 worth of fertility coverage in our insurance policy. Sounds like a lot, right? We spent $14,282.00 of that money on our first cycle. We spent nearly $5,000 on the insurance policy to get us there and another $6,000 on co-pays & hospital bills out-of-pocket. It just feels like the universe should hand you a baby after that. $25,000 and empty-handed is such a slap in the face. $25,000 and a urn and memory box feels like the universe is trying to kill you.

We have decided to no longer pursue biological options for children. We had a 1% chance of losing our son that late in my pregnancy, and we did. We have a 40% chance of pregnancy with our frozen embryo. If we get pregnant, a 40% chance that it will result in a live-birth. And I must have a surgery that enables me to carry a child to term that has an 80% success rate. To an optimist, those numbers sound great. We’ve been on the losing side, though. I can not mentally handle anything less than 100%. Some days I really can’t explain to you how I lived through this ordeal. I can not imagine attempting to mentally survive this twice.

For much of the same reasons, we chose adoption over surrogacy. We have better chances to be Mommy and Daddy here. We want to parent. Biology isn’t a factor. Family is.

Our domestic adoption will cost us $27,000. We have no idea how we’re ever going to pull this off. My husband, the most positive person in the world, believes. And he believes it so much, its contagious.

The outpouring of support we’ve receieved here since launching this blog is insane. We appreciate each and every comment, and read and share. We continue to be amazed by the amazing people we know and are blessed to have in our lives. I hope you all never get tired of the thank yous, because I never stop being grateful.

We will be launching a Facebook page soon that will help everyone follow our journey through the blog, as well as the updates with our fundraising. We currectly have a Give Forward page set-up for donations (link at the top!), but we will soon update you all with other ways you can help!

Our first goal is to reach $2,000. This will allow us to file our application, conduct the home-study and complete an educational course for adoptive parents through our agency.

Thanks for helping us build our family!

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2 thoughts on “numbers

  1. I am so glad that you and LB have found peace in the decision to pursue adoption. I wish you guys the best of luck and your story still brings tears to my eyes. I hope your adoption journey moves right along! Any kid would be lucky to have you two as parents!

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